HORRORS & HOOTS: Hot Pink Granny Panties

Signing up for Weight Training I at the community college was one of the best decisions of my junior college career. Wearing sweatpants that were 1 size too big proved to be one of my worst…
My instructor was the kind you loathed with everything in you. You know, the ones that scream at you to run faster or pump harder as they lazily sit on the sidelines. He wore shorts that were a little too short. His polo shirt was tucked in tightly around his huge beer belly. His tube socks were pulled up perfectly underneath his kneecaps. And he wore a whistle around his neck that he constantly was blasting in our ears. Despite my loathing, I was getting in great shape. I had to – in order to take my mind off of wringing his neck! As the weeks wore on, my sweatpants got a little bit looser here and a little bit looser there. I was the girl that, as I was running, had to hold my pants up. Hey – akward, but it worked!

After running we would do Mountain Climbers. For those unfamiliar with Mountain Climbers picture this: feet shoulder width a part, hands on the ground out in front of you, butt sticking up in the air. Then, when the whistle blew, one foot would jump forward and the other jump back, kind of like scissor-kicking but with your hands flat on the ground. As we “climbed”, our sweat dripping onto they gymnasion floor from our temples, I could feel my sweatpants starting to slip. So, keeping one hand on the ground I reached back and gave a quick “yank” up the backside. Moments later, they still felt like they were slipping, so once again I reached back and yanked. This happened several times when I noticed the boy that was “mountain climbing” on my left was staring at me, mortified. As the whistle blew and we all stood up, I felt a cool draft behind me. Suddenly, I realized that I had been pulling up my hot-pink granny panties while my sweats had continued to slip!

When I graduated from the community college, I had a “I Crammed My 2-Year Degree Into 5 Years” party…in which my group of Young Life girls held their breath as I opened their gift to me: A nice BIG pair of brand new hot pink granny panties – you know, just in case I had forgotten about that unfortunate day!

2 comments On HORRORS & HOOTS: Hot Pink Granny Panties

  • Jenni- lurker is “delurking”…I have been enjoying your blog more than any other I read for quite a while now. You make me laugh a ton, and then sometimes you drive home a really awesome truth with wonderful writing talent. You have so much material- why aren’t you a writer??? Anyway, thanks for being you and sharing with us!

  • oh my gosh. I am sitting in my bsement on my yoga ball trying to make my stomach trimmer and thinner LAUGHING out loud~! I keep thinking I will stop laughing and I keep on laughing!!

    HOW dont I know these stories?? I thought I knew ALL your stories!!!

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