Being a first-time aunt is hard work. You must quickly adjust to all the Professional Aunt Activities. Such as:
1. Strengthening your biceps so that you can hold your niece endlessly.
2. Strengthening your drop kick so you can quickly defend anyone who tries to take your niece out of your arms for something called “Their Turn.”
3. You have to be good at smiling.
4. And talking in a high-pitched voice at all times.
5. Being an aunt requires a keen sense of hearing…so that when unmentionable noises come from your nieces padded bottom, you can quickly pass her off. What? Auntie #2 and #3 said it was “Their Turn!!!”
6. You must be good at shopping. Especially for all things pink.
7. Not to mention you must learn an entirely new language, which is generally a collection of high-decibel sound effects, not limited to: buzzing your lips motorboat-style, making kissing sound effects, squealing, smacking your lips together, sh-bbbb-ssshhh-bbbb-sh-bb whispery noises in their ears, and making fake-surprised faces in hopes of them cracking a smile.
8. You must like drooling…
9. …and hair pulling…
10. And you must be okay with giving up accessories such as: dangly earrings, funky necklaces and eye wear.
But MOST of all, you must keep your camera with you at ALL times. You can NEVER have too many pictures of your induction into being a first-time Aunt…