Age 70…the New 40?

There is something powerful about dreaming…and putting those dreams into writing, documenting their existence.  I’ve been a big fan writing down life goals since I was just a kid.  Take the 2nd grade for example:

When I grow up, I want to be a Librarian…and a Dairy Queen Worker.

In the 4th grade my privileges of being a “Library Helper” were revoked after too many late assignments.  Down the tubes went dream number one.  As for becoming a Dairy Queen Worker…well, let’s just say some dreams never die.

Last month I turned the big Three-One and decided to write down some aspirations for my upcoming years.  This lengthy list could be anything at all, with no deadline, just simply things I’d love to make happen in life.

After a few minutes, all of my hopes and dreams were lying on the page in front of me.  But I wanted more.  So of course, I consulted my go-to guide for trustworthy information…Google.  Turns out 31 isn’t a milestone birthday, so I did a search on “Things to Accomplish Before Turning 30.”  Fabulous ideas like, “Bail a friend out of jail” and “Spend more than your monthly income on a pocket sized gadget” or “Get lost in a country where you don’t speak the language” and “Make a parachute jump on a hangover,” all came up.  Whoever writes these lists are GENIUSES!  (?????)  Yet, I found myself feeling exhausted as I read the adventurous, dangerous, expensive, and downright immoral things these lists had to say.

My fingers once again tapped the keys in the Google search engine…“Things to Accomplish Before Turning…”  And then it happened.  Before I even realized it was happening, it happened.  I typed in the numbers 4…followed by a ZERO. 40.  Forty. Four-Oh.

As I perused the lists of Things to Accomplish Before Turning 40, I felt much more at ease.  Do a sponsored charity walk.  Join a book club.  Visit all 50 states.  Go to a ballet.  Drive a ferrari.  It was in that moment of comfort that I realized I am now in a new era.  One that involves less illegal activity and more joint-and-lower-back-friendly activities.

I remember being a kid and feeling so bad for my dad when he turned 40.  Friends and family gathered in a room that was covered in black streamers, black balloons, and black tablecloths.  It looked more like a cemetery than a birthday party.  In fact, I think my cupcake might have even had a frosted headstone labeled R.I.P. Greg on it.  And let’s not even get started on the birthday song...”Sin and sorrow, everywhere…people dy-ing in despair…Happy Birthday (ugh)  Happy Birthday (ugh)…”  Depressing.

All I knew in that moment, was that I hoped I would never live to see the day that I turned 40.

Well, 21 years have passed since my dad’s 40th tragedy, I mean birthday, and knowing that I’m within a decade of that milestone has given me a change in perspective.  Many of my good friends here are closer to 40 than 30.  Now a forty year old could be in my dating range without it being wrong, illegal or weird.  My mom recently said 30’s are the new 20’s, and although I have no interest in re-living my 20’s, I think a lot of people these days have that perspective.  People are staying younger longer.  Take this recent encounter with a 70-ish year old man for example…

Jen {me} – getting into my car as a sweet old man approaches…then knocks on my car window.

Old Guy“So, how do you like this car, here?”

Me“Oh, it’s just a 2005 Ford Focus, nothing fancy, but yeah, I really like it!”

Old Guy“Well good!  Do you have any kids?”

Me“No, no kids!”  {thinking to myself…oh, how sweet, he must be looking for a safe, reliable car for his daughter and grand kids!}

Old Guy“So what does your husband drive?”

Me“My husband?” {innocent eye flutter} “Oh, I don’t have a husband.”

Old Guy – {smile peeking through his silver MUSTACHE}...”Well what does your boyfriend drive?”

Me“Oh, {clueless smile} I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Old Guy“Great! “ {leaning into car window ever so slightly} “Can I take you out for dinner then?”

Me“No.  No you can’t.”

Old Guy“Oh.  Uh.  Oh-okay, well, the offer still stands if you change your mind!” {wink, creepy silver-mustache-smile}

Yeah.  Pretty sure I won’t grandpa.

So all of this to say, I’m now 31 years old and pretty hot stuff according to men more than twice my age.  Somehow, this is NOT a compliment to me.  Yet for all I know, Old Guy’s mom told him at his 70th birthday party that “70 is the new 40 Harrold!” which would then make PERFECT sense why he thought it was appropriate to ask me out.

Anyways, back to the original point of this post.  What was my point?  Hummmm, I guess when I started this post, I envisioned it going a little differently.  I admit, I sort of lost track, and now feel that there are several points to be made, {none of which I had intended on making when I started} which I will bullet for you:

  • Point 1 – I am 31 years old and have yet to accomplish my dream of becoming a Dairy Queen Worker.
  • Point 2 – Google is a dependable reference for all your List Making needs.
  • Point 3 – You have not truly lived until you’ve made a parachute jump on a hangover.
  • Point 4 – I’m not a fan of dating men with silver mustaches.

After reviewing that insightful bullet list, I see that once again I’ve helped solve the world’s bigger issues one blog entry at a time.  I do what I can, my friends…I do what I can.

6 comments On Age 70…the New 40?

  • So, if 70 is the new 40 that means that 60 is the new 31, which means that you are now the same age as your dad! How does that make you feel?

  • And don’t knock silver mustaches…miraculously, women begin to grow them, too, somewhere around menopause! Nature’s revenge for not dating men who have them, I guess… Just think of what you have to look forward to!

  • That was even better than the text! Bwahahaha!

  • oh how I love this one! and dad…oh my goodness, you are…special. Haha

  • One that involves less illegal activity and more joint-and-lower-back-friendly activities.

    HA! I’ve been in that era since my teens, I think.

  • This is AWESOME! I’m aughing out loud (once again) by myself at your blog and your life stories. Keep ’em coming!

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