What’s On Your Waffle?

Several weeks ago, I won a complimentary dinner or brunch for two at the most elite Country Club in Colorado.  The club is nestled up in the mountains, built into the side of a cliff, where wall to wall, floor to ceiling windows spread across the entire cliff-side view {see club photo below}…

Thrilled for the chance to mingle with the elite {confident hair flip}, practice my flirtatious eye flutter with the rich and powerful {flutter, flutter}, and of course dazzle the influential leaders of society with a flash of my pearly whites {*ting!*}, I called to make my reservations…


{female at club answers the phone}

Jen:  “Why yes helloooo dahhhling, I am calling to set up a reservation for two at the club.  Oi si sou-play?”  {for some reason, fake French words started spilling from my lips…}

Country Club:  “Uhhhh…I’m not sure what that means, and I’m sorry, but this is a Member’s Only club.

Jen:  {Panic sets in.  French accent is lost.  Uncontrollably thick Minnesotan accent sets in…}  “Oah, well dontcha know, see yah, I’ve got a Q-pon an stuff.  Oah, wontcha take it?  Dat would give me a chance to sport my polka dot dress an stuff, dontcha know.  It’s just oh fer cute.  Are ya fer sure der’s no exceptions to da rules an stuff?  Dontcha know that there then, I just gave a jingle to git a supper set up an stuff, fir me and my friend Jill.  She’s bin planning to visit for munce and munce from up Nort’ in Minnesota.  Oh-fer-geez, I’ll have to make a hot-dish now an stuff.  Uff-da, well den, doesn’t dis just frost-my-butt.  Any chance you’s-guyz-iz could take my Q-pon, so our meal won’t be so spendy?

Country Club:  {crickets chirping…}

Jen:  “You there, then?”

Country Club:  Ahem.  Yes, ma’am, you must be the winner of the Gift Certificate.  We can seat you in the formal dining room at Sunday’s brunch at 1pm.

Jen:  “Oh geez, yah, fer sure!  We might be a little kah-put by Sunday, but yah, far as dat goes, we’ll be der!

Country Club:  {click}

So my good friend Jill flew in on Friday from Minnesota, while her husband Mike stayed “Up Nort” with their son.  We had a great time exploring little mountain towns, getting pulled over {ah yes, what would a trip with me be without a run-in with the police?!}, checking out some historic sites, drinking coffee, eating chocolate, thrift store shopping, REI shopping, and of course having a Spa Night.  It was all we could do to get our minds off of the upcoming Country Club Brunch where we planned to mingle, flutter and flash the elite.

Uhhh…flash our smiles, that is {*ting!*}.

Sunday arrived and we went to church, followed by the much anticipated winding drive up into the mountains to The Club.  Sitting up just a little straighter in my car with my hands at 10 and 2, I foolishly spoke my thoughts out loud…

So {excited, wide-eyed smile}, do ya think they’ll have French Toast Sticks?!

Jill:  {eye roll}  Oh-boy.

The buffet was everything I could have hoped for and more.  There was a dessert bar.  A pastries bar.  An appetizer and salad bar.  A chef flipping customized omellettes.  A meat n’ potatoes bar.  There were biscuits and gravy, cream cheese filled crepes, mimosas, quiche, and oysters.  But after filling most of my plate, there remained room for what my heart knew lay under the final silver platter…

A french toast stick. 

Well, they actually didn’t end up having french toast sticks, but they DID have fresh waffles, syrup, berries and large bowls of whipped topping.  It was the next best thing.  So, with care, I took a quarter of a waffle and drizzled it with syrup, as my eyes caught the bowls of light, luscious, creamy whipped creme.

Mmmmm…I never get to partake in such gourmet deliciousness…

…I thought to myself.  Looking left, then looking right, I made my move and scooped out the most generous, dare I say greedy?, amount of whipped topping I had ever indulged in.  Then Jill and I sat down to dine, overlooking the breathtaking view.

I ate some quiche.  Then some vegetables.  I ate a crepe, and sipped my mimosa.  And then, with anticipation, I took a large bite of my waffle and whip.

“Whoa. This syrup has the most POTENT butter taste I’ve ever had!” I thought to myself.  “I didn’t even PUT butter on this waffle and it tastes like a heart attack!!!”  But I continued to chew, swallow, and smile as Jill and I chatted.  I took another large bite of waffle and whip.  “AYE-KA-RUMBA!” I internally mused.  “How weird that I can FEEL my arteries hardening as I eat this!!!  Whew!”  And yet, Jill and I continued on in our delightful eavesdropping of the elite crowds around us.

As the last few bites of my waffle remained, I could take it no more.  It was a horrendous yet semi-delicious buttery taste sliding down my throat bite after bite, and I was beginning to feel a bit queasy…my heart was beginning to beat just a little bit slower…I set down my fork and looked at my waffle – then GASPED.

OH MY GOSH!  It was BUTTER, not WHIP!!!!!!!  Yes, it’s true.  I consumed a stick of butter…or two…or three…convinced that I was eating a waffle with whipped topping.  The stuff had been PILED high and deep, deep and wide, wide and whipped. Needless to say, I opted to skip the dessert bar that afternoon.

It gave Jill and I a good laugh {and it gave me a heart attack and the opportune moment to be resuscitated by a collection of handsome doctors…well, actually not}.  It also got me thinking…

How could I have TASTED that nauseatingly large amount of butter in that first bite, and not recognized it as actually being butter?  How could I have taken bite two…then three…each time convinced that I would start tasting whipped creme instead?  Weird.  Even though my taste buds and hardening arteries were telling me one thing, my MIND was telling me something totally different…and I believed it!

In recent years, I’ve been amazed at how untrustworthy the thoughts in our mind can be when left unchecked, unchallenged, and unchanged.  There are so many foolish things that we think about ourselves, think about others, and think that others think about us that simply NEED to be checked, challenged and changed!  While I laugh {and then kind of gag} when I reflect on my recent accidental-butter-binge, I am reminded that my mind holds a lot of power – more than I think I realize.

How often during the day do my thoughts form my beliefs and attitudes?  Hummm, I’d guess around 100%-ish.  So I wonder how much butter I’m eating each day without knowing it?  Not Land O’ Lakes, Country Crock or Smart Balance…my brands of choice are those with names like Pride, No Balance, Shame, Fear, Lack O’ Trust, You’ll Never, They’ll Never…and on and on the unhealthy consumption goes.  Just like eating a box of butter will take it’s toll on our health, so will these attitudes about ourselves, our family, friends, co-workers, our role with the poor and in-need, or even our assumptions about God’s views of us, plans for us, what He offers us, wants for us, asks of us…

What’s on your waffle?  Are you sure it’s whip?  Taking a look at what we’re thinking and believing – those supposed “truths” that roll through our head all day long…this is something that is always, and will always be best to do often.  This is something we should never, ever be done with.

…fight to capture every thought until it acknowledges the authority of Christ.

II Corinthians 10:5b  Phillips Translation


10 comments On What’s On Your Waffle?

  • Love you, Jen.

  • I love sipping on my cup of coffee reading your blog, Jen! Thank you for the laughs!!

  • Ummm, so why haven’t you come to help us teach in the CROSS Project yet?!?!?! This is EXACTLY what one of our lessons is about.

    Okay, okay, I think I’m starting to remember why you haven’t come to visit us…it might have something to do with me never emailing you back about plane tickets. Whoops! Well, you’re welcome here anytime! Just not in the next 6 months, though. 🙂 Speaking of which, are we going to see you at all when we’re back?! You’re so ding-dang CUTE!!!

  • Just like your Papa.

  • Amen. Such good reminders. Thank you again for writing with humor and insight. I loved it! (It also took me way back to the time that my mom (aka Grandma) put Brylcreem on my tootbrush – came in a tube, looked like toothpaste, must be toothpaste. Even though it did taste yucky – she was the mom and must have known – maybe not. 🙂

  • What a great reminder for all of us. Butter goes down quite easy, but the things it does for our bodies is a disaster. So it is with how we live and what we say or think.
    Thanks Jen for the reminder. The gift you have for writing is amazing! I am the recipient of the blessings.
    Love you so much. Nan

  • I’m reading this..blinking through tears because I’m laughing so hard. my favorite line..”aye-ka-rumba”…
    if they only would’ve had the darn french toast sticks like any normal brunch, The Club wouldn’t be missing 3 sticks of butter that you consumed. Hilarious my friend- Hilarious! I’m so glad I was there for it.

  • I love you! That’s all. Just love you.

  • So great! God throws life lessons in such wonderful places. Thanks for all your great incites and stories. Your gift of storytelling is amazing!

  • (okay, yes I’m stalking your blog and doing catch-up). You make me do the most crazy mind flips, from choking on my tea about the waffle, to thinking very deeply and philosophically. Mental whiplash, but I love it… once I catch up with myself and lose the feeling of pulling a U-turn. Your insights are wonderful.

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