The Hose Won

“Jennifer, would you mind emptying the tea pot?” my boss said, busy with her paperwork.  We were just wrapping up a long day at the store, and carrying our GIANT tea pot back to Cafe Organica, emptying it, and refilling it with water for the next day is part of our nightly routine.  “Sure!” I said, grabbing it and carefully holding the weighty contraption far away from my new red, silk blouse.  (Some of you already know where this is going, don’t you…)
There I was, in the dark Cafe kitchen.  My hands were too full to flip the switch, but luckily (confident hair flip) I am familiar with where the giant hose/spray nozzle is.  I set the tea pot down and grabbed the long hose hanging from the ceiling, spraying the old tea remnants out…once again, careful to be standing a distance away, arm outstretched, as to not spot my new red, silk blouse.

Once Step One: RINSING was done, it was time for Step Two: FILLING.  I noticed the long hose/spray nozzley-thingy had a little clip that allowed the sprayer to stay on…basically like the hands-free setting when pumping gas.  I cranked that baby up FULL THROTTLE and clipped it on, thinking what a GENIUS I was!  While the tea pot filled, I could go turn the light on!

Wellllll….

Ummmmmmmm….

Er…uh…

No sooner had I let go of the fully-throttled-long-hose-spray-nozzley-thing, when it literally came alive and started waving up and down and around…THE THING WAS OUT OF CONTROL!!!  I was diving into carts, under counters, crawling on the dirty, wet kitchen floor that was flooding by the millasecond, as the hose just continued to whip around like a crazy wild snake!  I practically army-crawled to the light switch, stood up to run over to the hose, went FLYING across the wet floor that was now covered in a good inch of water, and ran smack into the counter, things crashing and flying everywhere.  I turned it off.  Soaked.

Moments later, I reappeared in the store, once again holding the coffee pot.  However this time, instead of a nice pair of slacks, a new, red silk blouse, perfectly placed hair strands, and Kalahari Clay lipstick, I was DRIPPING WET, my mascara was running down my cheek, and my hair looked a bit like I had stuck my finger in an electrical socket.

Hmmmm…”Jennifer” left with the teapot to go rinse it out.  Less than 2 minutes later she calmly reappears looking like she was bulldozed and peeled off the pavement.  As co-workers looked up from their paperwork, I gently set the teapot back in it’s place.  The hose won everybody.  The hose won…

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