Kashuffling Through the Smog

Getting into bed at 10:24pm felt great last night.  I was tired.  I had an early morning ahead of me.  I was buried in lots of down blankets.  Sounds like the begininngs of a great night’s sleep huh?

I wish.

I don’t know what my deal was, but I laid there until 4am WIDE awake, yet SO tired.  By 4am I decided to just get up and start my day.  I went running, I lifted weights, I stretched, I painted my toenails, I plucked my eyebrows, I showered, I changed outfits twice, I flossed, I made my bed, cleaned my room, sat down for breakfast, and was out the door at 6:37am!  Believe me, that is where all good things came to an end.

Driving in -21 degree weather, on the freeway, in the dark, in a car that won’t go over 31MPH, with a frosty windshield, running on ZERO sleep, and pouring more SMOG out of the tailpipe than New York and L.A. COMBINED brought me back to reality quickly.  Oh, and did I mention I was on my way to a 7am DENTIST APPOINTMENT?!  Seriously, what dentist schedules clients that early?  And what idiot TAKES that appointment?  {don’t answer that}

There is only one thing that I fear more than death by quicksand:  THE DENTIST.

Well, the good news was, mere moments after my arrival, they sent me back home.  The bad news was, they told me that it was because my health insurance had been cancelled.  Uh, WHAT?!  I had also scheduled a  doctor’s appointment for 8:30am today, but since my insurance company didn’t take calls till 8:30am…I sat in the lobby of my NEXT appointment, dozing off until 8:30am – I called and let me tell you, if I had a dollar for every time I heard “Interesting…I’ve NEVER seen this before!” I would be able to buy 17 new transmissions for my car.

Turns out, some of my paperwork got lost in the New Year’s kashuffle* and I now have to pay 100% out of pocket during January, and then get reimbursed by my insurance company when all the “dust settles.”  Yah, right – since I’ve got so much money laying around these days!  So I ditched my appointments and cancelled my leg surgery scheduled in 2 weeks.  Awesome.

By this time, I was STARVING, so I figured I should grab lunch at Subway.  When I pulled in, I was dumbfounded they were closed until I realized it was only 9:45am.  I get it.  Normal people don’t get up at 4am.  Whatev.  I’ll just putter home in my smog-breathing station wagon…

During this time of chaos and confusion, I find myself dwelling on the wisdom of Solomon in 250 BC {and later by The Byrds in 1965} that “There is a season…a time to weep and a time to laugh.  A time to mourn and a time to dye your hair red…” {italics added}

That’s right.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  I feel that the best thing for me to do under pressure is to impulsively dye my hair red.  Really, when I think about it, this new do can be my secret symbol of hope.  Hope that by the time my roots start to show in about 8 weeks, these problems will be behind me…

*kashuffle – a made up word that sounds just a bit cooler than “shuffle”

7 comments On Kashuffling Through the Smog

  • I know a good stylist that can turn your hair red lickity split–even when you tell them NOT to– oh wait, those are my issues..
    can't wait to see the new 'symbol of hope' you.

  • Sorry life is giving you tons of lemons, but on the upside soon you will be able to start a lemonade stand and make enough money for a BMW!
    Praying for you in 2010!

  • I am sorry to say that when I read your sad things that happen…I LAUGH

    I can't help myself. Its really your own fault as you are so STINKEN funny! =)

    I can't wait to see your red hair!

    and…your new header made me laugh my big-butt-that-makes-me-look-fat off!@!!!!!

  • Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Stories like that bring the grandmotherly statements out of me.

    And really…hair dye over leg surgery? ANYTIME.

  • I love hair color changes!!! But good plan on canceling the appointments until things get straightened out…that stinks!

  • I like you Jenni Carlson. I'm sorry that stupid stuff keeps happening to you.

  • And I thought I had insomnia! And insurance troubles, I was apparently wrong on both parts… Can I copy your hair idea?? I totally agree – new look = fresh start. And red = awesome. And not much is better than an 'awesome fresh start.' 🙂

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