Story Preface: I got a new job; started Monday. I am a “Training Specialist”. Anything that has the word “specialist” in it sounds way cooler than it actually is…this is why I love my title. So, I now travel around the world training spas/medical facilities how to use all this equipment that are golden tickets to “the fountain of youth”. Me getting this job is kind of like the time I was biking and ran into a curb, ruining my bike and giving me a life-long Cankle (story for another day)…I didn’t see it coming, but I somehow ran right into it full-blast…the job, that is.
Job Perks: I’m in FLORIDA (currently 75 degrees warmer than Minnesota) observing a trainer on my first-ever business trip. Perks include…wake up calls, my meals are all paid for, and best of all, when I leave my hotel, little Keebler Elves show up and work their magic because when I get back in the evenings, I find my bed is made, my bathroom is clean, my garbage is empty and I have newly laundered towels folded into accordian fans!
Story of the Day: Today the spa staff was being trained to use an IPL (Intensive Pulse Light). Everyone in the room has to wear huge martian goggles while a crystal is laid on the skin and you hear a “pulse…pulse…FLASH!!!” (the FLASH part is like a blast of light as if a camera flash just exploded in front of your face) Okay, so they needed a test dummy (er, model). All eyes turn to me. The new kid. “Cool” I thought – “Free beautification”. I lay on the table wearing the goggles as they put green gel all over my face…a true martian. I gulp as the technician lays the crystal on my face and tells me to shut my eyes. I hear a “pulse…pulse…FLASH!” as the explosion of light blasts my face. Not so bad! They move it an inch and same thing – all over my face. Suddenly, nervous laughter and gagging is heard after I yell out in pain from a burning sensation. “Grab the cool compresses!” I hear. “What? WHAT?” I ask as I blindly lay there in goggles. Turns out, the new technician burnt off a chunk of my hairline and I now have some “spiky bangs”….AND A BALD SPOT!
Things To Do Tonight:
1. Ice Forehead
2. File Lawsuit
3. Pray that Spiky Bangs become the new trend