Easter Dinner’s On Me…literally.

If someone were to ask you, what animal do you associate with Easter, what would you say?  My guess is something along the lines of “bunny” or “rabbit” or even a “pig” if you’ve got ham on the mind.  Up until this year, I would have said the same…but that all changed Easter 2010 when another animal flew into my life…literally.

On Easter Sunday, I put on my new outfit I had just bought with a birthday gift card and began to make the 45 minute drive to my folks house.   The sun was shining, the city was fading into rolling fields, and there was a 30+ pound turkey struttin’ his stuff on the side of the highway.  What a beautifu – HOLD ON.  A TURKEY!?!?!

In the split second I saw him, I blurted out, “Turkey, don’t even THINK about crossing the highway now.” At 70pmh, I knew if he made the mad dash, it would not be pretty.  With that said, he took off in flight…STRAIGHT AT MY FACE.  The last thing I saw were his beady little eyes looking straight at mine, and then I closed my eyes and white-knuckled the wheel.

It sounded like a gunshot went off right in my ear.  My car shook with the impact as I opened my eyes to THIS:

Still going full-speed yet unable to see the road, I hit the brakes and hit the ditch.  Apparently I had also hit the turkey.  I sat there completely in shock for a full 30 seconds, as I looked at my body.  I was COVERED in glass, feathers and blood.  COVERED.  I wasn’t sure if it was my blood or the turkeys – but I knew the feathers were definitely his.  I remember thinking to myself, “All right, you’re alive.  Now you get to choose: do you want to start laughing or start crying?” I chose crying.  Shaking, I called my parents’ house sobbing.  My poor mother heard my voice and thought someone had died.  I guess she was half right, as someTHING had definitely died.  I knew this because one of it’s legs was lying in the ditch next to me.

My dad, 2 passer-byers, 2 police cars and 2 ambulances arrived at the scene.  It was a dramatic sight to behold as the turkey feathers began to clear.  The paramedics looked me over and by the looks on their faces, I knew the diagnosis was bad…REAL bad.  Turns out it was, as they told me I was going to have pitch all my NEW clothes because they were so imbedded with fine glass.  {gasp!}  Devastating, I know.

Well, as it turns out, the turkey did not have insurance, so the $1,000+ repair bill was his dying gift to me.  The collison center said that his impact hit so hard, it literally re-alligned my entire roof.  Awesome.  The good news is, the police officer told me I could keep the turkey.  While I laughed at his joke, my dad’s eyes lit up.  Minutes later, he was backing his blazer into the ditch where my gobbler lay.  After snapping a picture of him holding it, he got a suspicious grin and PUT THE TURKEY IN THE BACKSEAT!!!  He told me he “wanted to show mom.” Sigh.  I won’t be surprised if Easter 2011 he pulls a turkey dinner out of the deep-freeze…

{Click Photos to Enlarge}

5 comments On Easter Dinner’s On Me…literally.

  • Jenni I am so sorry! You poor thing. It’s a little funny because things like this happen to you all the time but still I feel terrible your outfit was ruined and the damage done to your car was so expensive. I’m just so glad you are ok.

  • I’ve been WAITING for this post! All the gory, juicy details…sorry about the new clothes! Major bummer. I wondered about that, cuz I was wearing my new sweater and scarf to Easter lunch and would have been totally bummed if I had to toss them because of a dumb turkey.

    I commented to Derek about the turkey parts sticking out of your windshield, and he said, “Oh that would stink so bad!!! Wait, good thing Jenni can’t smell.” So, there’s one positive. 🙂

  • Jenni – I’m so glad that you are okay, after I finished reading – I had to laugh. Too funny. Love the pic with your dad. 🙂 I wouldn’t be surprised if they stuffed it and put it in your bed one day along with your squirrel! 🙂 Have a great day.

  • Jenni, I am SO glad you are okay! How absolutely terrifying! I’m sorry that it all happened to you…next year you’ll look back and think, “ahh, Easter memories!”

  • Only you! I can’t stop laughing right now! The Hinson side will be so proud to hear you got your first turkey this year!

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