You give and take away…

It’s been 3.528 months since I became an “Education Specialist, L.E.” (according to my business cards, that is). I have traveled to almost 20 states, getting to train a variety of people. Rich people and people missing teeth, ultra-tan teenage girls to ultra-white medical professionals, people with southern accents and people who don’t speak English. I love my job. But that hasn’t been the best part. The best part has been the way God orchestrated the whole thing…I prayed one morning, “God I need a change” and days later I showed up to my interview only to find out the Head Honcho used to be really involved with Young Life, the non-profit I worked for years for. Immediately we hit it off and long story short, I got the job of my dreams. God totally provided this amazing job for me.

Today my boss called me into her office. She explained that sales are really down. No sales = No trainings. No trainings = No job. And just like that, I went from living the dream, to feeling a blow to the stomach. It’s not official…it will be a waiting game for the month of June to see if sales pick up. But she told me that scenario is extremely unlikely. Today I’ve had my tears. I’ve felt confusion. I’m not completely understanding why this job was provided and now its being taken. But there is a song that is on repeat in my heart tonight…you may have heard it.

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say “Lord, blessed be Your name”

Besides those words, I was struck with awe as I tried to process this whole thing. If you read a couple posts down you’ll find my struggle with my desire to buy a house…and how in the end, despite how “right” it seemed, God just said, “Jenni…wait.” What if I had bought a house a month ago like I had thought about doing and then lost my job? He must have a crystal ball up there or something. Maybe one of these days He’ll actually let me take a peek at it too. (keep dreamin’ sista…keep dreaming)

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